@Sabriel: Cats are the original parkour... ists?

@Waxy Luster: I'm usually like, "Babies? Pff, whatever." But you're cool with me, kid! He already has a great sense of the theatrical and kinda gross. How awesome would it be to do baby-as-monster portraits? (Very.)

@Sabriel: Hah, indeed. And now I am experiencing that near-Pavlovian response to the word "triumph" which is revisiting the Portal theme(?), "Still Alive", in my head.

@badluckgirl can't log in: Are you going to see this guy on a regular basis for unavoidable reasons (he lives nearby or frequents your favorite restaurant)? I guess that would make diplomacy more important, but what's really important here is drawing a clear line that communicates your interest in not interacting again.

Since you said you don't want to be friends, I would take your message/statement/whatever further; don't leave the friendship option out there, because it's not an option for you. It might seem gentler, but it probably isn't productive. I'd say you're not interested in seeing him again and to please not contact you. If he calls/messages/whatever, you can ignore it (I'm inclined to make that immediate policy, but some would differ, I suppose).

@Sabriel: If you enjoy those posts, check out Repair Her Armor: [repair-her-armor.tumblr.com] It's a showcase of egregiously ugly/unsafe/malegazey armor, mostly from games, plus fan redraws that fix these issues and bring the costumes more in line with male armors.

@what name: I don't know what these are ultimately for, but any crocheted boob is alright in my book. Plus it's all neat and even looking, which is always a triumph when it comes to yarncraft.

@UnpleasantBug : Oh god, they're all so horrifying, I can't just choose one. Fake-mustache-and-aviators mom-to-be? Weird STOP sign pillow wielders? Fetus eater dad (who's wearing what looks like a hairy french toast hat, whaaaat)? Maybe it's time for humanity to leave this planet in peace.

@Memento(Der Metzgermeister)Morie: And now to engineer the real coup: getting Mr. Waltz to read to you.

I have often wished there were a less robotic sounding text to speech thing widely available. Hope this arrangement can work for you for a good while.

@RR: It's still out there: FINALLY a reason to break out the time machine! I was despairing of ever having a reason to use it, what with the dangers of paradoxes and all, but I think it's safe enough to go back in time to a pre-expired-cookies era.

@Steggy stole your ice cream: "Also, the guy can't even use a screwdriver, I don't know why he thinks he can fix a hoover."

Sounds as though he might be a partially-self-inflicted victim of the delusion that maleness confers the ability to fix things and be "handy".

Seems that you and flatmate #2 have the right idea.